Two Sides: One Coin
by sparkycircuit
Summary: He stands proudly, strongly, grown to a man in time after his youth. Arthur had always been proud and strong, Merlin had simply not been able to show it- it is a skill he learned. Character Death, set in the future.


**TWO SIDES: ONE COIN  
**

He stares out the window of Arthur's chambers, squinting against the shaft of sunlight blinding him. But even without clear vision, he knows what the view will show him. A strong Camelot, the greatest it has ever been, built by himself and by Arthur.

But it is to be no more.

He knows this. He knew it from that moment on the battle field at Camlann that this would be the end. He is not sure how he knew it, but he knew it was assured when he saw Mordred there. His dread grew as the battle progressed, and though Mordred is now dead, Arthur is dying in his bed in Camelot. Staring out the window, Merlin catches a glimpse of his own reflection in it. He is older now, brown turned to grey long ago. He stands proudly, strongly, grown to a man in time after his youth. Arthur had always been proud and strong, Merlin had simply not been able to show it- it is a skill he learned.

The thought of Mordred bows his shoulders, though. The thought of the young boy turned murderous adversary fills him with regret and self loathing. He had been warned, multiple times, and as the years had progressed, he had only regretted his choices more. There had been many mistakes in his time, few as large and as crippling as that one.

"Merlin." The voice behind him reminds him of another. Morgana. He doesn't turn for a long moment. She speaks again, closer this time. "Merlin," she repeats. He finally turns. She is older now, like him, but beautiful as she ever was. For a moment he wishes he could go back, but he has long since struggled to eliminate regrets. It has not proven particularly effective, but he can stand in her presence.

"Morgana," he says, and the name is a whisper, almost a prayer. He knows why she is here. He knows the prophecies, knows his stories, Arthur's stories, their shared destiny. He knows what she is here to do, but it does not make the intensity of her gaze any easier to stand.

"I've come to take him to Avalon," she says. Her voice has dropped as well. He looks at her calmly, and he is slightly assured by the way that some of the old kindness has leaked into her gaze. he regrets their past, their history. He killed her, long before he actually poisoned her. Perhaps he could have helped her from the beginning, maybe much of this could have been avoided. The images tortuously flicker over his mind's eye, but he ignores them.

He says nothing to that, simply takes a step back, inviting her to do what she came for. She says nothing either, and she moves forward. He watches silently. He remembers that once the dragon said they were opposites. Her hate to his love, evil to good, but he wonders if that is really true. Perhaps they are the same coin, two faces sharing a side, and that is the truth of it; he has made as many deadly mistakes and committed as many sins as she has. He wonders if she thinks about this as much as he does, but he does not ask. It is not his question to ask, and it is not an answer he wants to face.

"It is time," she says, after time as passed- how long he could not say. He says nothing again. Morgana watches him silent, her eyes as steely as ever- the same grey blue he has always remembered. "Merlin," she says for a third time, taking a step closer to him. He says nothing. "Merlin," she says it again, and she is within inches of him now. She raises a hand, but he does not flinch. Instead, she smiles slightly, the half smile that he recognizes from the earlier times, the times when his destiny seemed like a boyhood struggle instead of a truth of his life. Now it is both instead of one. She gently strokes his cheek for a moment. He says nothing. "I must go," she says, dropping her hand to her side. It is so easy for him to pretend. Pretend that this is one less mistake instead of so many he has been revisited by. Perhaps he is the worse half of the coin- she, at least, has always been what she is, whereas he has always lied.

"You have done well," she whispers.

"Morgana," he repeats, and their hands touch for a moment, eyes locked. Understanding, regrets, everything. They will go on forever, Morgana and Arthur. It is not his destiny to go to Avalon. It is just another of the cruelties of his lot.

"Goodbye, Merlin," she says, their connection broken. In seconds she is gone, she and Arthur spirited away.

He turns back to the window, staring at his reflection, an old man frowning at him, rebuking him for all his mistakes.

* * *

_That was my first attempt at Merlin fanfic- I hope it wasn't complete rubbish! Please, review and let me know what you think. thank you! _


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